My sister and I have been with my Mom and Father for the past few day. Ben, my father has been in renal failure for some time and is reaching his end here on earth. On Monday I really felt that I should go to work on Tuesday. Tuesday morning came around and I still felt that pull to drive 2.5 hrs to work. I also felt that in going I would probably miss being there when Papa passed away.

Tuesday I awoke at 4:30 am unable to sleep and spent time with Papa while he slept. Before I left Coos Bay I felt to suggest family prayer. Our last call to our Heavenly father to watch over us as we part our ways.

In entering work I was greeted with a hug and an "I love you" from my fellow nurse. She had already in 4 hrs sent two of our residents to the emergency department for further evaluation. I also learned that one of our Long term residents had passed away during the night. I spent the day consoling her upset roommate who mourned the loss of someone who had never been nice to her. Comforting her with the words, "Now you have a guardian angel looking out for you." I moved from her to another resident who received word at noon that the niece he raised had also passed away. I spent time listening to how she had Alzheimers, and that he is very sad, but happy to know she is in a place of comfort. Work later brought me to calling the on call MD to receive orders to put one of my favorite residents on comfort care. (I know we aren't supposed to have favorites, but I just cannot help it!) Her resperations had dropped to 5 breaths per minute and I sadly watch and helped her get as comfortable as she could.

Work ended with a call from my sister that Papa had passed away. After gathering some necessities (chocolate) I headed for the 2.5 hr drive back to my parents. 2:00 am brought me there, a hug from my mom and a "I stayed up to lock the door" from my mostly asleep sister. And now it is 5:30 am again. 24 hrs after the start of my day. I think I am just waiting for it to all sink in.