After setting myself up for disappointment on a regular basis throughout my life, I've learned a few things: Don't put expectations on others. Everyone is different and will not think the same way as you. Your going to have to ask for it if you want it.
Don't put expectations on others.
I learned this rule when I first moved back to Oregon after being in Maryland for eight years. I had been away from family for so long and often heard from them, "If only you lived closer I could help you out, or spend time with you". I had great expectations of family time bliss. Weekends spent together exploring and shopping. What I got was that gas was too expensive to visit and time was short. I threw myself into a dark place of depression and woes of me. It took a little over a year till I learned my rule not to put expectations on others. This was able to guide me to the gift of self happiness. I learned to do things more independently and to fill my own joy.
Everyone is different and will not think the same way as you.
This rule can be mashed a little with the first one. I don't know exactly when this one sank into my learning. I actually think my sister mentioned it to me. We being human tend to have a little of "the world is about us". When we approach different situations sometimes we assume that others will think and do as we do. Tis not so. In learning the gift of seeing others as themselves we learn to understand where they are coming from and where their actions will lead, not yours.
Your going to have to ask for it if you want it.
Ahhhh. This one I am constantly relearning. I am a pretty independent person. Over the years I've learned to use my introvert tendencies to strengthen my learning and cultivate inner peace and happiness. Yet then there are times when I forget that the world is the world and I ignore my understanding of the above rules. I need to ask! "I'm fine!", "that's ok!", are my first statements I tend to say. I assume I'll be able to figure it out on my own. The gifts of accepting help and speaking up can ease your burden as well as bless others.
I am constantly needing to remind myself of the rules and gifts I have learned. And of course I'm not an expert of life, I've just lived it!